“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Cor. 13:7)

Throughout my life, I have had my share of challenging relationships. Be it with a parent, sibling, child – but most especially a love-relationship in the form of a spouse or significant other. God forbid it be ME that is the challenging or difficult one in the relationship (LOL).

This has been especially true with my spouse or significant other who was abusive, angry, harsh, hurtful and most difficult. I had a tendency to want to run away, to get away from this person and situation because it was too painful saying to myself “I don’t deserve this! I deserve better.” The world certainly perpetuates this – teaching us that we do in fact “deserve” better.

But scripture is quite the opposite saying numerous times “Love bears ALL”….no matter what it looks like, feels like, no matter how it appears – it bears all. And Colossians 3 states “We have died” meaning, our self-for-self (which in fact is idolatry) thinking and living has died and we have been united to Christ in His resurrection life in His death, burial and resurrection. He, now lives His life in us, even and especially, right in the middle of these very hard and difficult situations; with these difficult, angry, harsh people.

In Col. 3 – Paul tells us that Christ is going to come up in us as our life in these situations saying “When Christ, who is your LIFE appears then you will appear with Him in glory.” Now we’ve been erroneously taught that this means the second coming of Christ appearing – then we will appear with Him and go to heaven. But that is not what he is saying here.

Paul is teaching us that right in the middle of these hard, difficult and painful places – Christ who is our life appears (manifests). How is He going to appear in these things? It means that right then in that instance as we look to Christ as our life in that thing (whatever it is), recognizing that we have no life apart from Him, He comes in to be our joy, love, peace, perseverance, silence – fill in the blank. This is also what Paul refers to “death for life” – that as we die (or reckon ourselves dead in Christ) in that very moment to whatever it is that we’re struggling with – HE is going to come up in that very thing to be our life, in whatever form – THEN, we will again appear along with Him – (we’re in union) as HE gets the glory from that very thing, the very thing we’re trying to run from. It’s a mystery.

So in essence, all these things are meant to teach us, to serve us – to cause us to get it once and for all – to take Him as our only life. His life, becomes ours. We are one. He is going to be everything we need – when we need it, as we need it. We do not look to self to be better, love more, have more patience and kindness NO! That is a fallacy. You can never have what it takes inside you, to live the Christian life – in fact, you were never meant to live it! Christ is going to live it in you – as you continue to look to Him for everything.

Paul says to “Count it ALL joy” when we go through these very things – they are working in our life to teach us. To practice taking Him right in that situation. This is the much better way and the only way to live in perfection in Christ. This is the Kingdom of Heaven (to know Christ and the Father who sent Him). How else will we learn this without facing these challenging things? This is His life working itself outward to love others into His love and kingdom.

What an ingenious plan – the plan of our Lord. A life (death) for a life, that others might come to know Him even as we are coming into full union with Him. His love comes in and loves much better than we could ever love. His peace keeping us through any and all situations. It will be painful and we certainly will have temptations to “stand up for our rights!” But understand that the struggle, pain comes when we refuse to surrender.

Quickly let go and it will not have a hold on you. Life will be easy as He keeps you in perfect peace. For in surrender and abandon He brings us into HIS perfection.